So far in quarantine, I have had trouble finding various ways to pass time without getting bored. My favorite methods so far have involved taking online classes, watching interesting videos, and binging every reality show available. Looking back, I am reminded of a fond memory from my time in quarantine; the time I signed up for a zoom contortion class. As a young woman who is neither a contortionist nor a gymnast, I naively entered this class with high hopes that I would be blessed with beginner’s luck. I was mistaken. The first moments of class involved stretches that were strenuous enough to account for an entire workout. Alone, afraid, and recorded by my webcam, I attempted these stretches with no success. As the class-goers bent and snapped in every direction, my body creaked with each move. I mustered all of my strength to not show my pain through my facial expressions; I’d like to believe I did a good job, though I am doubtful that was the reality. After what felt like ten years, the warm up finally ended. We moved on to exercises that focused on back strength, or, in my experience, my lack thereof. I felt like a fish flopping out of water as I shamefully failed to lift my back off the ground. I prayed that my parents would not enter my room to the horrific sight of me, lying on my bedroom floor, covered in sweat, trying to bend my back to join my feet and shoulders. All the while, my webcam remained on to show the class my botched skills. Hardly halfway into class, I had been through enough; embracing the lazy genius that lies within me, I shut off my webcam and opened up a hulu tab and began playing an episode of Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. I was too ashamed to leave class and brand myself a quitter, so I stayed on the zoom call until the class was over. I am unsure of what I gained from this experience, other than the fact that I can officially say I’ve taken a zoom circus class. Going forward in my life, I feel that in order to enjoy a contortion class, I will have to experience it in person. Until then, I will not be practicing contortionism.